Foolproof Excuses To Cancel Your Date

Here are lies you can use the next time you’re just feeling like not going on the date. You’re welcome:

  1. “I just threw up all over the apartment.”
  2. “A stranger just threw up all over the apartment. The horror!”
  3. “I totally forgot about (insert fictional person here) coming into town and I have to clean up.”
  4. “I’m feeling really emotional about Homeland and just need to be alone right now.”
  5. “I have to wait for the internet technician (anyone else) to come over and he still hasn’t shown.”
  6. “I broke my entire body. Pray for me.”
  7. “I have a really terrible headache. Let me lie down and see if I feel better.”
  8. “I have a really terrible headache and I know you’re going to make it worse.”
  9. “There’s a leftover pizza in the fridge calling my name and it’s taking priority at the moment.”
  10. “My neighbors are having really loud sex and I need to see how this plays out.”
  11. “I’m in the middle of reading The Bible for the first time. Again: pray for me.”
  12. “I need to iron my laundry.”
  13. “I need to do my laundry.”
  14. “I need to darn my socks.”
  15. “I need to Google what darning my socks mean.”
  16. “I’m in the middle of a really invigorating Tinder convo and I honestly think he could be the one.”
  17. “I fell into a Wikipedia hole and now I’m convinced that the Zodiac killer is going to come back and I will be his first victim.”
  18. “I got drunk alone and now I’m too tipsy to come.”
  19. “Uber is surging 4x right now and I love you, but not that much.”
  20. “I haven’t washed my hair in four days and tomorrow it’ll be five.”
  21. “It’s too cold outside.”
  22. “I’m pregnant”.
  23. “Just find out that my friend getting married. Need to go and support him now”.

What is your best excuse to cancel the date?

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2 comments on “Foolproof Excuses To Cancel Your Date

  1. I feel like the pregnancy one is the winner. That is, if you want to NEVER go on the date. hahaha. Funny post.

    Liked by 1 person

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