Are you being used in the relationship for sex or money? Find out if your one true love’s a user who’ll stick around only as long as you can give!
It’s a fact of life that you will inevitably run into people who will use you to give them things they can’t otherwise get.
It can be VIP treatment at the hottest clubs, blue chip connections in the business world or just someone to cry on when the going gets tough.
The problem with this breed of folk is that they can be so insidiously subtle.
You never know they’re using you until you’ve exhausted all you can give. You know what’s worse than knowing a user? Dating a user!
These users may often use you for sex or money or both.
Sometimes they’ll count on you for other things like favors, social status and whatever gets their ego going.
But the most common types of relationship users are those who take advantage of your body or your wallet.
Here’s how you can tell if that’s who you’re dating.
5 signs you’re being used for sex in your relationship
Don’t mistake hot passionate sex for hot passionate love. Sometimes, as much as it seems like love is all you can see, it could just be a haze of lust in your lover’s eyes!
#1 A user wants to hang with you at strange hours. Okay, so maybe the person you’re dating or having a fling with works odd hours or happens to be a night owl. But you’ll get to wonder what you can possibly do together at 2 am on a weeknight. You can’t catch a movie, all the nice restaurants would be closed and the only friends you can hang out with are those who are already wasted.
Unless you spend these late night dates talking, bonding or just cuddling at home, you’ll probably end up getting down and dirty. What’s more alarming is that even though you know this person is awake and active in the daytime, you never seem to hear from them unless they want a daytime quickie.
#2 A user only wants to hang out at home or in a hotel. Invite your boyfriend/girlfriend to the movies and the answer is no. How about a dinner date? Still no. How about some coffee after work? Maybe, but will you be crashing at your place afterward?
You can get a nice date or two out of someone who’s using you for sex. But at the end of each date, there will always be hints for you to drop by their pad for “coffee.” All in all, you’ll probably start to notice that at the end of each quick date is at least some third base action.
#3 A user has inconsistent contact. In the last pointer, we mentioned that your dates consistently end in some nookie or the next best thing. This is probably the most consistency you’ll get from this person aside from the line “let’s play it by ear.”
Everything else, whether it’s phone calls, text messages or even invitations to hang out will be sporadic at best. One week you’ll be all wrapped up in each other, and the next, there’s not even a Facebook message in sight. But just when the user starts to feel you slipping away, he or she will reach out again and try to get back in your good graces… or your pants.
#4 The user’s friends don’t even get to know you. The first time you meet your partner’s friends, it can be rather awkward. But if they can’t even recall your name or you only get to talk to them for ten minutes tops, this should get your alarm bells ringing.
If his/her friends can’t seem to form a connection with you or they don’t even try to talk to you, this can be a sign that your significant other has told them that he/she doesn’t even expect you to stick around when the passion has subsided.
#5 Post-coital bliss becomes post-coital dismiss. One of the most telling signs that you’re being used in the relationship for sex is when you’ve just finished a hot lovemaking session, and your lover is already asking you to close the door on your way out. There doesn’t seem to be any room for cuddling or talking as they practically kick you out afterward!
Sometimes, it’s not this blatant, but it’s in the same vein. Your partner could be using lines like, “I have an early meeting tomorrow. Let’s just hang out soon, okay?” or, “I think it’s better if you just sleep at your place. Shall I call you a cab?” Whatever excuse they come up with, users in relationships will get you out when they want you out.