Self Research

Recently was thinking why can’t I find the Right One.

I’m single for more than 3 years already after divorce. All this time, was on and off on different Online Dating Sites. On some stayed for 1-3 days on some for 3 months. Met tons of people. Some haven’t passed first ‘coffee interview’. With other dated for some time.  But the result is the same for all.

‘Wrong. Next one’

Hate all these messages on the Online Dating Sites. Like ‘Hey, sexy’. Really? Nothing else to say? F…ck you looser!

Whatever.

So, was thinking why I always choose the same guys again and again. (they even look similar). They even lie the same. Have the same excuses to cancel the dates.

And, I think I know why. Because I DON’T want any serious relationship. And choose this kind of guys with who just not possible to build anything serious. Or, if I see that it may get serious, run away like crazy.

I’m very young. I live my own cool life. Financially independent. Having my own place to leave and a dream car which I enjoy driving every day. Consider myself successful as a woman (I have a child). Consider myself successful with my career (even tho, there are lots of space to grow). Having high income. And spend everything on myself and my child. Do whatever I want. Have plans for the future and love every day, no matter how bad or good it is. ….. Having new life ideas every day and spend my time on searching possibilities to realize them, just because I LOVE it.

Just feel myself happy being on my own. Sounds selfish maybe. But it is what it is.

Or, another option is, I just haven’t met the One with who I would like to try to build something. But, how can I meet him if I choose the same guys again and again?……

Even tho I would like to have a full family again and more kids. And I know the time is ticking….. But, ……. Later. ……Maybe. Not today.

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