I’ve had about 20 dates with women over the past year and only three or four went well.
I’ve learned that a woman is either ten years older than she tells you or ten stone heavier than her photograph. Your heart sinks when you see them. I just don’t know why they do it – I suppose they see online dating as a conveyor belt and there’ll be another one along in a minute.
I’ve met everyone from a doctor who was far too busy for a relationship to a single mother who brought her seven- and nine-year-old children on our date and expected me to buy them all lunch. She stormed off when I politely refused.
I spent ages choosing a beautiful pub in the Chilterns for another lady who pulled up in a Range Rover, took one look at the venue and said: “This is horrible, follow me.”
Off she roared to somewhere posher where she talked about herself all night and how her last partner had died of cancer.
It had been very inconvenient for her to have to keep visiting him, she said. To add insult to injury, when I texted to wish her well the next day, she replied: “I think you should find someone of your own social class.”
Perhaps the worst was when I started seeing a woman who lived in the South of France. I visited her a few times and then she came over with her 11-year-old daughter. The girl was so jealous of our relationship that not only did she tread mud into the house constantly, she pulled a curtain rail down then had a shower and deliberately left the showerhead running on the floor and went out.
It brought the living room ceiling down. Her mother didn’t even apologize. That was the end of that. I’m a tall, fit man – I run and kayak – and never had much difficulty meeting women, but none seems normal. I just want someone warm and fun. Why is it so hard?