I got to know a nice gal on OKC for a few weeks before we decided to meet up for a hiking date. She only wanted to communicate through email or the dating site -which I thought was odd but just went with it. 30 minutes into our date I found out why…She’s married and her husband is a jealous, gun collecting hunter type who she’s thinking about leaving. For 90mins- I felt like a deer during hunting season on that hike. Every bush movement and twig snap I was sure was him…Fuck her for not coming clean before hand.
“I joined OKC four years ago hoping to hook up with a bunch of girls. I spent a week messaging a few girls and decided to meet the first of these girls to put my plan into action. We ended up hitting it off and started dating exclusively. Four years later, and we are still dating. She completely ruined my plan.”
This fact can say a lot about the people who go online to find love. Perhaps they are die-hard romantics who wear their hearts on their sleeves and believe there is one person out there that’s right for them.
A big part of online dating is finding someone who will go on dates which are “no strings attached”. But the statistics don’t lie: finding true love is the ultimate goal for most. There is still some romance left in the dating world, even when it’s online.
Love triangles are confusing affairs. Find out how love triangles work, how you could end up falling into one and how you can get out of one here.
Have you ever been in love with someone who’s already in love with someone else?
Or are you in love with someone right now, but find yourself falling for someone else at the same time?
Well, you’re just living the perfect love triangle life!
What is a love triangle?
A love triangle is a complicated dating scenario where there’s love in the air, but there are more than two people involved.
When love is mutual and shared between two people, everything is perfect, simple and easy.
But when a third person enters the picture, everything changes just like that.
In come the complications and the frustrations, laced with intense happiness and a flow of bitterness.
The two types of love triangles
There are two primary types of love triangles. There are many complicated love triangles too, but they always find a way to fit into these two scenarios.
#1 Two people trying to win one person’s affection.
#2 One person who’s in love with one person but likes someone else at the same time.
How would you find yourself in a love triangle?
If you have a crush on someone who’s already in a relationship, that doesn’t become a love triangle. It stays as a crush.
And if you’re in a perfectly happy relationship and your friend tells you they’re in love with you, that’s not a love triangle either, because your friend just has a crush on you.
A love triangle starts only when there is reciprocation.
When a single person starts to feel a reciprocating connection with someone who’s already dating, or if you’re in a relationship with one person and start loving someone else who reciprocates your love, it has the perfect recipe for a love triangle.
Only with reciprocation does a motive to pursue arise. After all, if you liked someone and that person didn’t care about you, there’s nothing at all that you can do, is there?
It doesn’t matter if you’re in a relationship or you’re single, what you need to realize is that love triangles can never ever be created because of one person’s weak moment. It always takes two people to start the complication while the third person suffers for no fault of theirs.
No one wants to be in a love triangle
And yet, almost all of us end up in one. A love triangle may start off as an interesting distraction at first, which then unexpectedly turns into love. And this can lead to sticky love triangles where one person could be in love with two people at the same time.
When you don’t want to take a step ahead, nor do you want to take a step back and stay happy in your own relationship, a love triangle starts to form even if you try your best to avoid it.
Love triangles always affect a relationship negatively
For the person who’s single, it’s simple. All they need to do is steal the person who’s already in the relationship.
If you’re single and trying to steal someone who’s in an unhappy relationship, it’s really easy. But what do you do if they’re with someone they really love? They may love you and yet, they may not want to lose their own partner. You may be able to steal a few happy moments of love and lust, but if nothing really works out, you can still walk away with your share of pain and helplessness.
On the other hand, a person who loves two people will want the best of both people, and the worst of none. They’d start picking flaws in their partner and creating false reasons to justify why they’re cheating. They need a reason to convince themselves that they’re not happy in the relationship, and that’s the only reason they’re falling for someone else or getting involved in a love triangle.
But even when the third person walks away from their life someday, can they ever overcome all the flaws they’ve picked in their relationship?
Unless there’s a lot of love and bonding in the relationship, a love triangle always leaves a deep scar that tests the person’s faith in the relationship.
And almost always, a relationship that is put to the test of a love triangle fails or never regains its former glory.
Love triangles are painfully fun
If you’re involved in a love triangle right now, you would know this. A love triangle is a lot of fun for the cheating partner and the third person because it’s so exciting and risky. When you enjoy the pleasures of a love triangle, it’s always fun.
But for your partner who’s in the dark, it may be a very miserable time because you’re ignoring them, detaching yourself emotionally from them, and completely avoiding them.
And once the fire and the passion of your secret affair start to die down and you realize that you still love your partner and not this third person *which almost always happens*, you’d start to feel the pain too.
So what do you really get out of a love triangle? Nothing but pain, even if it feels like fun while it lasts.
Love triangles are selfish
You may think it’s acceptable for you to love someone else behind your lover’s back. But would you be fine if your partner behaved exactly like you, used the same flirty words you use with your adulterous lover, with someone they like? If that bothers you, you’re being very unfair to your partner and you’re being selfish.
I know you feel helpless, but you really need to keep this in mind. Most lovers who are stuck in love triangles forget to think from their partner’s point of view now and then. By keeping your partner in mind, even if you do fall for someone else, you’ll always know who’s more important at the back of your mind. And that guilt will help give you the strength to walk away even if you’ve rolled in the hay with someone else for a few weeks.
Love triangles are inevitable
Let’s face it. We can’t always stop ourselves from appreciating someone else or falling for someone else helplessly. But a love triangle is best avoided.
It can happen when you least expect it. You may just enjoy a conversation with someone, and without realizing it, a few weeks later, you may be in love with them because they excite you and have infatuated you. Don’t hate yourself if that happens to you. Just learn to do the right thing.
But if you ever do experience a love triangle, instead of picking flaws in your own relationship, ask yourself whom you’d really choose, and who you want to be with. Just one answer. Don’t try to push that thought away. You have no choice because someday you’re going to have to decide on that. And the earlier you make up your mind, the less painful it’ll be for everyone involved.
A love triangle starts only when you’re confused over your emotions for your partner. If you’re certain about who you’re truly in love with, you’ll never have a weak moment even if you just enjoy a flirty conversation with a flirty someone outside your relationship.
You don’t need to be wary of everyone you talk to or avoid ever getting friendly with anyone of the opposite sex. All you need to remember is how happy you already are in your perfect relationship. Just keeping that in mind will safeguard you from ever sliding down the exciting and dark hole of love triangles.
If you’re experiencing a love triangle or wondering how to get over one, it doesn’t make you a bad person. It only makes you human.
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Are you wondering why you can’t find love? Or are you looking for love with no luck? If you really want to find love and lead a happy and romantic life, you need to give these pointers a thought.
Do you want to find love? Of course, you do. All of us do.
But just because you can’t find love around you doesn’t mean you’ll never find love.
You can look into the mirror every day and ask yourself the same question, “will I find love?” hoping the answer will be an affirmative one day. But staring into a mirror won’t really change your life.
Why you can’t find love
There are a lot of couples in the world, and an equally high number of single men and women. So why is it that you can’t find love when everyone else seems to be jumping between partners all the time?
You may feel like the world is conspiring against you and pushing every eligible partner away from you.
Or it may be because of your hectic work hours or your lack of drop dead gorgeous looks or missing funny bone. You can have a lot of reasons. But the real truth is far more simpler and truthful.
You can’t find love because you’re not giving yourself the opportunity to find love.
It’s really that simple. The only person stopping yourself from finding love is yourself.
Looking in the mirror
Why do you think you can’t find love? Look into that mirror and list out the reasons. You’re short? Ugly? Boring? Not earning enough money? Not a great communicator? Or all of the above?
But then again, haven’t people with all the shortcomings I’ve mentioned above getting loving partners and leading happy lives? So why is it not working for you?
The truth? You can’t find love because you’re letting those shortcomings get in the way. It’s weighing your confidence down like a big bag of bricks on your back.
It’s easy to lose motivation and confidence, and finally, give up. But giving up really has never helped anyone.
On the other hand, we have people who are extremely confident about their appearances and everything else, but they’re still single and looking for someone. Why are they single?
Looking for love
If you really want to find love, you need to be looking for love. Many people say that it’s better not to go looking for love. They say love will come to you when the time is right. But that’s not true.
Why is looking for love any different from looking for a job? You can’t sit back and wait for the perfect job to land in your lap. You have to look for it. Sometimes, people get lucky, of course. But it’s not always the case.
Never stop looking for love. But then again, don’t run around frantically waving your hands and yelling “I want to find love!” Love, just like everything else has to be sought out.
Finding love around you
Finding love isn’t as *easy* as finding a great job though. Finding love is complicated and tricky, and you’re never going to know where to find it. But if you’re single and can’t find love, you need to do something about it. One of the best things to do is go out and meet people.
If you’re looking for love, you need to have an active social life. But then again, it doesn’t mean you should go out with the same bunch of friends to the same old clubs. Do something different. Remember, finding love is like meeting with an accident. It happens when you least expect it. If you really want to experience true love, you have to stop being cautious and holding back. You need to meet new people, make friends, and hang out with new friends every week or so.
The more people you meet, the higher the odds of you finding true love. And believe me, true love is looking for you too. So the more initiative you take, the faster you’ll find love.
Creating opportunities while looking for love
So you don’t have too many friends who have other friends? It doesn’t matter! Join a yoga class, or a dance class, or participate in some community event. The world is full of opportunities to meet your lover. And it’s only you that’s holding you back.
If you really put in even a bit of effort, you’ll be able to see how easy it is to meet new friends and interact with potential love interests. And every time you meet a few more people. The odds of finding someone who will fall in love with you will only increase as you meet more people.
Dealing with rejection
Now this one is obvious. When you’re looking for love, you are going to have to deal with rejections. You can’t expect everyone you fall in love with to fall right back into love with you. So learn to deal with rejections gracefully. It’s just like a job application. You can’t really get any job you want, every time you send in an application, right? If someone’s not interested in going out with you, move on and try to find someone who likes you back too.
No matter what happens in your pursuit of love, stay positive. You never know who’s looking at you from far away, slowly falling in love with you every day. As long as you make new friends, meet new people and stay positive, love will come knocking on your door sooner than you think.
If you’re looking for love and want to find love, but can’t find love, you only have yourself to blame. It’s easy to blame circumstances, but it takes a brave person to accept that it’s their own fault. And it’s the brave person who takes chances and will eventually find love and lead a happy life. So who are you going to be?
You don’t need to feel guilty if you’re getting bored with your relationship. You just need to understand why you’re bored and do something about it!
Relationships are tricky places to be in.
Sometimes, it makes you feel like the happiest person in the world.
And at other times, it spirals you back onto the ground and makes you wonder if you even want to be in one.
Do you feel like you’re getting bored with your relationship?
You’re not the only person with those thoughts on your mind, so you really don’t have to feel guilty about it, even if your lover is head over heels in love with you.
Sometimes, these things just happen.
But should it come as a surprise to you if you get bored in love?
Almost always, boredom sets into a relationship because you didn’t do anything to prevent it.
Are you bored with your relationship?
You may be in love for a long time. For few, it may take months, and for many others, it may take a few years.
But at some inevitable point in your love life, you may wonder if you’re really actually happy being in the relationship.
So why does that happen? You didn’t plan on falling out of love, but it just happened. You wake up one morning and you’re just not interested in staying in love anymore. You could push the thought aside and continue on in your relationship, or you could jump into an affair with someone sexy and fun. You could do any of those, and more.
But before you actually go blaming love and its mysterious ways that led to the downfall of your present relationship, you need to ask yourself a few questions.
Why are you really bored? What do you want to do about it? And most importantly, what are the reasons behind why you got bored of your relationship?
Once you understand why you’re getting bored with your relationship, you can prevent it from ever happening again. And unless you truly understand the reasons behind the boredom, you’ll never really be able to enjoy a happy relationship without a bit of drama and boredom now and then.
15 reasons why you’re bored with your relationship
The reasons for your boredom could be one of these or all of them. If you can learn to eliminate these flaws or distractions from your life, you’d surely be able to overcome the boredom and enjoy a perfect relationship.
#1 The daily routine.
#2 The frenzied excitement.
#3 The fragile foundation.
#4 Better opportunities.
#6 Sex is just boring.
#7 Special memories.
#11 Shared goals and passions.
#12 Together time.
#14 Annoying partners.
What do you do now that you’re bored with your relationship?
The answer is simple. What do you want to do? What’s the first solution your mind gives you? Do you want to fix it or do you want to move on?
Work hard towards a better relationship and fix it. Or talk to your partner and take a temporary break from each other.
You don’t have too many options here. If you’re bored with your relationship, it’s better to confront it now or both of you may end up hating each other and move towards a messy breakup in future
Use these 15 reasons why you’re bored with your relationship to understand your relationship boredom better. And once you know the cause, make up your mind on what you want to do next.
Three years ago, after divorce, I wanted to date, very badly. I didn’t have my own life. I was mom and housewife. And all my lifestyle and everyday routines were spinning around this.
So I wanted to date. My friend, who is family phycologist, told me, “Don’t go on the Dating Sites. Don’t meet with guys. You scare them. You behave totally wild.” But I didn’t believe and failed and failed again. Every guy I met was exactly the same as the previous one. And everything ended up in the same way too.
I wanted attention, care, love. The level of self-esteem was kinda low too……
Now, three years later, looking back and thinking how stupid I behaved ……omg, those poor guys. But, now I feel totally different. I don’t need anyone and anything in my life. I’m not saying that I don’t wanna love in my life. But I’m not eager for that anymore. I’m busy with myself. I have hobbies. I have things I enjoy and my own friends.
Some guys who I met 2-3 years ago, now messaging me back. And asking for a date. But I don’t care. I respond. And even ask them how are they doing, but I don’t care. Just being polite and nice to them.
If I am bored I will message to someone and go out with him, have a good time, come home and forget. No regret. Just do whatever makes me happy. And then they feel insulted and message me again and again. But, sorry, I needed you 3 years ago. Not now.
If I’m seeing someone and something goes wrong, I won’t freak out as before, investigate, ask,…. just disappear from his radar. No explanations.
Just do whatever makes me happy.
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