The History of Online Dating From 1695 to Now

Before they went mainstream, personals were a way for same-sex couples to discreetly connect.

Has the Internet really revolutionized dating? Or is hijacking tech for love and sex just what humans do?

* * * * *

Hardly a week goes by without another new think piece about online dating either revolutionizing society or completely ruining our ability to have real relationships. But these hyperbolic pronouncements miss a deeper fact:

At its core, “online dating” isn’t something we just started doing 5, 10 or even 20 years ago. Before the Internet, there were personal ads, and before that, lonely shepherds carved detailed works of art into tree bark to communicate their longing for human contact.

Since the earliest days of mass media and technology, people have been finding ways to broadcast their desires and find connections that might have otherwise eluded them. I mean, one could argue that even Voyager 1’s Golden Record is kind of a massive, interstellar personal ad (complete with the recorded sound of a kiss!) out to the universe. It’s as if humanity decided to document all our best features and send them into space with this message:

Lonely humans seek extraterrestrial lifeforms in Milky Way or nearby. Open to all body types.

* * * * *

The modern newspaper was invented in 1690, and the first personals followed soon after. So dating apps are really the latest manifestation of human beings doing what we’ve always done — create new tools to communicate and then turn around and use those tools to find love, sex, and companionship.

1695: The First Personal Ads
According to history professor H.G. Cocks (seriously —The Best Name Ever for an academic), personal ads began as a way to help British bachelors find eligible wives. One of the earliest personals ever placed was a 30-year-old man, with “a very good estate’, announcing he was in search of ‘some good young gentlewoman that has a fortune of £3,000 or thereabouts.” (£3,000 is equivalent to roughly £300,000 today. #ShamelesslySeekingSugarMomma…)

The 1700s: Personal Ads for Homosexual Safety
Personal ads were one of the only ways for the gay and lesbian communities to meet discreetly and safely at this time. Less-Than-Fun fact: homosexuality was outlawed and punishable by death in the UK by wife-murderer Henry VIII and continued to be illegal until 1967. During this time, gathering sites for gay men known as Molly Houses were subject to regular raids by law enforcement. (Meanwhile, in the future U.S.A., anyone accused of being a “sodomite” doing “buggery” was also legally sentenced to death as of 1776.) Coded words, female names and other signals in personals were channels to privately expressing vulnerability and find companionship that society forbade.

1727: Women Get Smacked Down for Expressing Personal Desire
In 1727, Englishwoman Helen Morrison became the first woman to place an ad in a Lonely Hearts column. She convinced the editor of the Manchester Weekly Journal to place a small ad stating she was “seeking someone nice to spend her life with.” (It’s radical, I know…..)

A man responded to Helen, but it was not the man she was hoping for. It was the mayor, who had her committed to an insane asylum for four weeks.

Women asking for what they want — clearly delusional to 18th-century dudes.

The 1800s: Aristocrats Catch On
Always on the lookout for ways to exploit media for their own ends, aristocrats in the 1800s used personal ads to broadcast their interest in romantic engagements that seem scandalous by today’s standards. An 1841 ad in the Journal of Munich tells of a 70-year-old Baron seeking a woman “between 16 and 20 having good teeth and little feet.”

(Well… maybe not that much has changed for the one percent? )

Mid-1800s: The General Public Follows
In the mid-19th century, the need to advertise for a husband or wife was still considered a “failure” and associated with deviant behavior for many judgmental straight, white, middle-to-upper class people. But as magazines and periodicals such as The Wedding Bell in the US and The Correspondent, Matrimonial Herald and Marriage Gazette in the UK hit the newsstands with immense popularity, matchmaking and personals took off as well, creating the first wave of true mainstream normalization for the personal ad.

The late 1800s: The Scam Emerges
You know, someone’s always got to ruin the party. The popularity of personals paved the way for grifters who soon realized that they could prey on the vulnerability of people seeking love. Scam artists caused a scandal that many newspapers ran with, and personals disappeared practically overnight as public attitudes became more cautious. Phishing, fake profiles, and ads for escorts continue this tradition today.

The early 1900s: The Lonely Rural Farmers, Ranchers, and Shepherds
Around the turn of the last century, personal ads enjoyed a renaissance of popularity, especially in the Western US with low populations and the harsh realities of rural life without a partner. (Farmers Only continues the legacy to find “where all the country girls are” today.)

Some very pragmatic examples of early 20th-century personals:

HOUSEKEEPER: 18 to 30 years of age, wanted by widower, 40. Have prominent position with the rail company, have a 75-acre ranch also house in town; object matrimony if suited; have a boy 13 years old, would not object to housekeeper having a child. Can give best references.

A young woman, reared in luxury, having lost everything and earned her living for the past eight years, is tired of teaching and wishes a home: would like to meet a well-to-do businessman who would appreciate refinement and affection in a wife. Object: matrimony.

If only these two had found each other’s personals then…..

The 1920s: Lonely WWI Soldiers Seek Pen Pals
Personal ads went mainstream again in the early 20th century, when social pressures to get married by 21 (and thus, expectations for relationships) were much lower, thankfully than their earlier incarnations. Many of the postings were simply calls for friends or pen pals. These kinds of ads were especially fashionable among lonely soldiers during World War I.

The 1960s: Counterculture and Computer Love
Removed from the context of wartime, old stigmas crept back in. Like the Internet today, lonely hearts ads were suspected of harboring all sort of scams and perversities. Because they were often used by homosexuals and sex workers, British police continued to prosecute those who placed personals until the late 1960s, when ads became part of the burgeoning youth counterculture.

Meanwhile, a new technology was emerging. In 1965, a team of Harvard undergrads created Operation Match, the world’s first computer dating service. For $3, users could answer questionnaires and receive a list of potential matches, a process that is still used by many dating sites.

1990s-2000s: Second Wave of Mainstream
The explosion of the Internet in the mid-to-late 1990s created a new context for personals, and by the end of the decade, they had become relatively acceptable. Even before the Web itself, bulletin boards and newsgroups hosted a variety of ways people could use technology to meet others with similar interests, including dating. Services such as America Online, Prodigy and eventually Craigslist offered chat rooms, forums and online classifieds of use to singles. By the time Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan AOL’d each other in You’ve Got Mail, it had become clear that the Internet was going to change every aspect of our lives forever — including love and romance. Match.com was founded in 1995, and by 2007, online dating had become the second highest online industry for paid content. (….Can you guess what’s #1?)

2010 – Today
By 2010, different dating sites existed for virtually every city, sexual orientation, religion, race and almost every hobby, making it easier to find exactly what we’re looking for and harder to stumble on someone who exists outside our pre-defined bubbles of identity.

In 2002, Wired Magazine predicted, “Twenty years from now, the idea that someone looking for love won’t look for it online will be silly, akin to skipping the card catalog to instead wander the stacks because ‘the right books are found only by accident.’”

Online dating is the new norm for introductions, replacing the role of traditional personals and in many cases, merging with the functions of social media. If we are going to improve the way people meet one another, we’re going to have to do so by questioning the existing paradigms of online dating and figuring out how to do it better.

One thing is certain: the tenacity with which human beings will seek each other out with any tool available is inspiring. Ultimately, we use the technology of online dating because we crave connection and that desire alone timeless and connects us always.

Thanks to The Huffington Post

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Warm Welcome Message


Any Dating Site is the endless source of fun, stupid, hilarious, creepy,……messages and stories. So here is another short one.

Recently got a message from a guy on a Dating Site ….. ‘Hi. How are you? You look like my grandma’.

Hahaha. Seriously?

Not sure how to take it. As a compliment or as an insult. LOL

MillionaireMatch.com - the best dating site for sexy, successful singles!
MillionaireMatch.com – the best dating site for sexy, successful singles!

Why You Can’t Find Love

Are you wondering why you can’t find love? Or are you looking for love with no luck? If you really want to find love and lead a happy and romantic life, you need to give these pointers a thought.

Do you want to find love? Of course, you do. All of us do.

But just because you can’t find love around you doesn’t mean you’ll never find love.

You can look into the mirror every day and ask yourself the same question, “will I find love?” hoping the answer will be an affirmative one day. But staring into a mirror won’t really change your life.

Why you can’t find love

There are a lot of couples in the world, and an equally high number of single men and women. So why is it that you can’t find love when everyone else seems to be jumping between partners all the time?

You may feel like the world is conspiring against you and pushing every eligible partner away from you.

Or it may be because of your hectic work hours or your lack of drop dead gorgeous looks or missing funny bone. You can have a lot of reasons. But the real truth is far more simpler and truthful.

You can’t find love because you’re not giving yourself the opportunity to find love.

It’s really that simple. The only person stopping yourself from finding love is yourself.

Looking in the mirror

Why do you think you can’t find love? Look into that mirror and list out the reasons. You’re short? Ugly? Boring? Not earning enough money? Not a great communicator? Or all of the above?

But then again, haven’t people with all the shortcomings I’ve mentioned above getting loving partners and leading happy lives? So why is it not working for you?

The truth? You can’t find love because you’re letting those shortcomings get in the way. It’s weighing your confidence down like a big bag of bricks on your back.

It’s easy to lose motivation and confidence, and finally, give up. But giving up really has never helped anyone.

On the other hand, we have people who are extremely confident about their appearances and everything else, but they’re still single and looking for someone. Why are they single?

Looking for love

If you really want to find love, you need to be looking for love. Many people say that it’s better not to go looking for love. They say love will come to you when the time is right. But that’s not true.

Why is looking for love any different from looking for a job? You can’t sit back and wait for the perfect job to land in your lap. You have to look for it. Sometimes, people get lucky, of course. But it’s not always the case.

Never stop looking for love. But then again, don’t run around frantically waving your hands and yelling “I want to find love!” Love, just like everything else has to be sought out.

Finding love around you

Finding love isn’t as *easy* as finding a great job though. Finding love is complicated and tricky, and you’re never going to know where to find it. But if you’re single and can’t find love, you need to do something about it. One of the best things to do is go out and meet people.

If you’re looking for love, you need to have an active social life. But then again, it doesn’t mean you should go out with the same bunch of friends to the same old clubs. Do something different. Remember, finding love is like meeting with an accident. It happens when you least expect it. If you really want to experience true love, you have to stop being cautious and holding back. You need to meet new people, make friends, and hang out with new friends every week or so.

The more people you meet, the higher the odds of you finding true love. And believe me, true love is looking for you too. So the more initiative you take, the faster you’ll find love.

Creating opportunities while looking for love

So you don’t have too many friends who have other friends? It doesn’t matter! Join a yoga class, or a dance class, or participate in some community event. The world is full of opportunities to meet your lover. And it’s only you that’s holding you back.

If you really put in even a bit of effort, you’ll be able to see how easy it is to meet new friends and interact with potential love interests. And every time you meet a few more people. The odds of finding someone who will fall in love with you will only increase as you meet more people.

Dealing with rejection

Now this one is obvious. When you’re looking for love, you are going to have to deal with rejections. You can’t expect everyone you fall in love with to fall right back into love with you. So learn to deal with rejections gracefully. It’s just like a job application. You can’t really get any job you want, every time you send in an application, right? If someone’s not interested in going out with you, move on and try to find someone who likes you back too.

Stay positive

No matter what happens in your pursuit of love, stay positive. You never know who’s looking at you from far away, slowly falling in love with you every day. As long as you make new friends, meet new people and stay positive, love will come knocking on your door sooner than you think.

If you’re looking for love and want to find love, but can’t find love, you only have yourself to blame. It’s easy to blame circumstances, but it takes a brave person to accept that it’s their own fault. And it’s the brave person who takes chances and will eventually find love and lead a happy life. So who are you going to be?

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Cheating in a Relationship

Can you really define cheating in a relationship? As complex as the feeling of love may be, affairs and cheating in a relationship are just as complicated, says Roberto Rossi. But who defines cheating, and what constitutes cheating in a relationship?

Cheating in a relationship is a funny business. Painful, most definitely, but it’s extremely hilarious to watch from a third person’s view.

Have you seen how relationships change with time?

And have you noticed how we twist our own promises to our lovers to suit our needs as time passes by?

You kissed someone else because you assumed your partner was cheating? Or did you sleep with another person because your partner just wasn’t showing you any affection?

Is that cheating, or is that just changing the circumstances?

Cheating in a relationship

More often than not, things can sometimes be lost in translation when it comes to your relationship with a loved one. Without clear boundaries set, it’s even more likely that relationships won’t last past the initial honeymoon period.

It seems nowadays you can’t even fart or sneeze without your loved one having opinions about it. Why is this happening?

Only god knows, but as couples become more and more immersed into each other’s daily lives, problems seem to be occurring left, right and center!

Just think about it for a moment. Have you been in a situation where the doubt of infidelity has been so small and so insignificant, but in the end, you ended up having a row with your partner and probably took a few days to resolve it while the dust settled?

Have you been in that situation when in looking at what is positive in the relationship, you instead focus on the negative? There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel, but it’s up to you to find the torch that can take you there.

Cheating and our own views

Cheating in a relationship can be a confusing affair. Recently, a friend of mine came to me with a dilemma. His girlfriend had left him because he often sent text messages to a female colleague from his workplace.

This girl from work would call him occasionally to talk, to gossip, etc. His girlfriend came to him concerned, and even after he had comforted her over a few glasses of Portuguese Rose, she came right back at him with the sucker punch, “but you always see her at work, why do you need to talk to her even when you’re home?”

His response was somber, and there wasn’t much he could have said back, other than “she’s a friend who likes to talk, what’s wrong with that?” Of course, some level of flirtation probably took place, but let’s be big boys and girls here, who doesn’t flirt in life?

Infidelity creates its own circumstances

As a few months went by, a one-off, random office drinks party ended with my friend and his workmate sharing a kiss. Of course, my tone changed. But in the end, I felt this couple had a lot more going for them then, to allow a stupid kiss to get in the way.

Three years together and a stupid kiss could ruin all of that? Who hasn’t done something stupid which they come to regret, or rather forget? But this is it. When he felt guilty about it and told his girlfriend about the kiss, she was obviously pissed off. But she went one step further. She told him she always knew there was something going on between them.

Fair enough, I thought. She was well entitled to believe that something could come from this because they had locked lips.

But it was her failure to reflect on their relationship to understand that such a scenario was always a minuscule event in a wider picture. She assumed that that one kiss had started an entire illicit relationship between her man and the woman from work, and she just wasn’t ready to accept that perhaps, just maybe, it was an unfortunate event that happened by accident. It could happen to any of us.

Becoming the unfaithful one

Anyone can fall prey to such accidents, given the circumstances and chances of timing. No one’s a saint and no one’s a winner if you really weigh the circumstances.

But as the American actor Henry Winkler once said, “assumptions are the termites of relationships.” They eat at you and your partner, and in the end, just like a termite loves to grind down on wood, the termite assumption eats at the tree you and your partner have grown together.

When is it cheating?

In today’s world, it seems that everything shared between a partner and a friend of the opposite gender is cheating. Absurd, right? Wrong.

You will be surprised at a number of cases where relationships have ended over the most minuscule of things. With respect to sexual infidelity, cheating is only cheating if, ladies, you happen to walk into your room to find some butt naked chick playing with your fella’s nuts (and I’m not talking about food here).

Alternatively, cheating is only cheating if men, you happen to find your lady with her panties in a twist with another man. Well, unless you’re talking about emotional affairs.

Anything is remotely possible today. Think back about my friend, his example is exactly what is killing the average American relationship of a twenty or thirty-something-year-old. We, as humans, are drawn in by our assumptions of situations without allowing ourselves to reflect on the positives. Sounds familiar?

But I hear you saying out loud ‘what could be positive from my partner kissing someone else?’

Well firstly, it’s not as if they slept with them. They didn’t share a night of passion that they would normally have shared with you. Secondly, if you know about it, either they have told you themselves or you’ve found out yourself, but that doesn’t mean they are going to do it again.

If they do, then, of course, it’s cheating in a relationship. But what if it happened in the heat of the moment, a onetime thing? It really could happen to any of us!

Defining cheating in love

The definition of cheating in a relationship is changing with the times. Most relationships end when either one of the individuals involved does the unthinkable. They cheat.

In the U.S. alone, one in three marriages now ends in divorce, and a lot is put down to infidelity issues. In a recent national survey, twenty-two percent of married men have strayed at least once during their married lives, while fourteen percent of married women have had affairs at least once during their married lives. And that’s the number of people that confessed to their deed! Can you even begin to think of the number of secret affairs going on right this minute?

During the 1950’s and 1960’s, cheating was seen as a pass-time. Both genders could openly do more things and people, but today is different.

With the techno-advanced twenty-first century, all forms of communication are a blessing to us. We text, email, have mobiles and interact much more. Socially, we are freer in more ways than ever before, but in trying to be a free spirit like a character out of a Paulo Coelho book, we cause ourselves harm too. The more we interact, the more problems we get into, and more temptations we come across.

So what is cheating?

When one talks about cheating in a relationship, some may think of a lover banging someone else. But as I said, times have changed. Flirting, kissing, cyber-sex, text-sex, email-sex, facebook-sex, even looking at the opposite sex is considering cheating! Forgive me, maybe I just won’t look at the beauty the next time it passes me by.

Seriously though, because people have different opinions about what’s considered cheating, it’s up to you and your partner to decide what the “ground rules” are for the relationship.

What constitutes an act of infidelity varies between and within cultures and depends also on the type of relationship that exists between people. Even within an open relationship, infidelity may arise if a partner in the relationship acts outside of the understood boundaries of the relationship.

Many people agree that there are six basic qualities to healthy, loving relationships. Respect, trust, honesty, fairness, equality, and good communication. Everyone is different when it comes to dating rules, so people should sit down with their partners and agree on what counts as cheating in their relationships.

Discussing these details, however uncomfortable they may seem, is actually the best way to create boundaries in love and avoid cheating in a relationship.

Open Relationships

Are open relationships the new way to keep a marriage alive? As tempting as it can seem, a sexually exciting open relationship could work for some couples, but not for all. Find out why.

The definition of a relationship is simple, but yet, it’s one that constantly changes with time, and with people.

Once upon a time, marriage was an exclusive bond.

The only way to experience anything out of the sexual ordinary when you’re in wedlock was infidelity. And that led to a divorce.

In recent years, men and women have started interacting a lot more, at work, at parties, social gatherings at home, and even online in social networking sites like Facebook.

And today, America is crescendoing into a divorce orgasm with almost half of all first marriages ending badly. Is it the sex? Is it misunderstandings or insecurity?

Changing the rules of the game

There are a lot of reasons for the failing romance and we won’t get into it here.

But we’ll talk about something most people are doing to save their marriage.

Somewhere along the path of wedlock, a few clever sexual exploiters came up with a fancy way to twist the sacraments of matrimony. And with that, hopefully, reduce the wailing divorce rate again.

In comes the new relationship to save the day. Open relationships.

But is it the best way to keep a relationship going gung ho? So the next time we find our husbands or wives boring, all we need to do is hop, skip and jump into another bed and bang another hottie. Is that the answer?

Perhaps it is. A lot of couples are actually opting for an open relationship over the traditional one. And for many of them, it seems to be working.

What is an open relationship?

An open relationship can be defined as any relationship in which the emotional connection is exclusive, but the physical intimacy isn’t. Both the partners love each other, but they also have sex with other people outside the marriage.

Now, this can seem really disturbing, but to several couples, this seems to be working just fine.

Surprisingly, couples who participate in open relationships aren’t horny perverts who hate their own lovers. In most cases, the couples are college sweethearts or lovers who have been together for a very long time. And in almost all cases, it starts with true love.

The world is a smaller place today than it was a couple of decades ago. Men and women meet new associates at work or friends almost every day. And when you’re constantly meeting new people, it’s only human to find someone you meet attractive.

And when you start to meet attractive people who think you’re attractive too, you are bound to start wondering if you got the short end of the stick by getting into wedlock without really looking around enough.

The world outside the relationship

No one looks forward to cheating when they enter into a relationship. But sometimes, it’s irresistible or inevitable. Lovers start to take each other for granted as the relationship gets older. And at the same time, sparks can ignite outside your relationship when you’re having a great time with someone else.

You obviously wouldn’t want to cheat, and this whole confusing mess of a steady relationship at home and a happy, fun and sexy relationship outside can be very frustrating. Many people walk out of the marriage at times like these because they feel they aren’t experiencing the happiness they truly deserve in a relationship.

And a few months later, after experiencing a lot of happiness *having sex with anything that walks* outside the relationship, they realize that their own partner was the nicest person in the world and try pleading their way back into old love.

Should you have an open relationship?

Are open relationships really better than a divorce? Is it better to be stuck in a relationship and look outside the relationship for sexual ecstasy and happiness? It’s actually better to just walk out and start something fresh, isn’t it?

We don’t want to be judgmental here, but at least to some Americans, open relationships do work. And it works well.

As surprising as this may seem, love and sex are two completely different things. Most people think otherwise, but that’s not true. You can be completely in love with someone and sexual desire someone else. It’s natural to find someone else sexually attractive, and as humans, we’re selfish and ambitious, whether it’s about money or sex. We all want what we can’t have and that increases the sexual tension and desire.

Instead of living in frustration and sexual neglect, you could love your partner and yet, have the best sex in the world with other people. If you and your partner love each other, but the sexual frustration is tearing the relationship apart, then perhaps an open relationship is just for you.

Open relationship – The better alternative?

While walking down a busy street or while shopping in a mall, you’re bound to see a lot of attractive lookers. And there you are, “stuck” in a relationship and destined to have sex with just one person for the rest of your life. To many, that idea is painful to visualize. It’s easier to cheat and break a heart instead of having to stare at the same package every single day.

At other times, the urge to experience what the world has to offer sexually can be so intense, it could end the relationship. If both partners are likely to cheat or want to experience new interests in bed, then perhaps, an open relationship is the best way forward. Both of you love each other, and both of you want to experience new sexual partners, and you get to do both in an open relationship. So if this is you, then an open relationship may be the perfect remedy for a broken marriage.

At the same time, open relationships also reduce infidelity over time. In life, we crave for something we just can’t have. Sex outside of wedlock is so arousing and exciting because it’s taboo, and you just want it. But if you’re having an open relationship, sex outside the relationship isn’t taboo and so, it loses its charm!

Many couples who are involved in open relationships say they’re happier in the relationship and love their partner a lot more because they get the best of both worlds, emotional security and new sexual experiences.

When open relationships fail

An open relationship may be successful for some couples, it’s roadkill for all other couples. In most cases, only one partner wants to have sex outside the relationship. And they try to convince their lover that an open relationship is the best way forward. But it doesn’t work. You can’t just convince your partner to get into an open relationship.

An open relationship can be more painful than a cheating partner if you’re not ready for it. The thought of a partner meeting new people just to have sex while you’re sitting at home can be excruciating. And let’s not even get started with jealousy!

Unless you really want it, or both of you catch each other cheating behind your backs, an open relationship may not be the best remedy for you.

The last word on open relationships

Let’s face it, open relationships seem like a very exciting and tempting idea. But every time you’re having sex with someone else, your partner’s doing the same too. Can you handle that? Most lovers want to have sex outside the relationship, but can’t imagine their own partner with someone else. If you’re one of them, well, you’re a piece of dog excreta, but yeah, an open relationship isn’t for you.

Open relationships are for couples who love each other, and understand that an open relationship can actually help their marriage in the long run. They’re not looking for an excuse to have sex with someone else, nor are they coercing their partner to jump into it.

So if you’re that couple, open relationships may be the best step towards happiness. But what’s your take? Would you ever get into an open relationship with your partner?

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Is He Interested In You For All The Wrong Reasons?

Is he interested in you or is he just toying with your feelings? If you want to know if he’s got romance on his mind too, use these signs to find out.

Sometimes, it’s easy to get clouded by your emotions.

You may love your guy like crazy, but he may not share the same feelings.

You may think he truly cares about you.

But he may have his own ulterior motives to date you.

If you’re in a bittersweet relationship where your boyfriend loves you once and pushes you away twice, chances are, he’s either a bad boyfriend who’s not worth your time or a guy who’s using you for his selfish interests.

Is he interested in you for all the wrong reasons?

Ever felt like you’re being used in the relationship?

Sometimes, your instincts are your best judge.

If your boyfriend’s behavior changes every now and then, perhaps it does not just love holding both of you together.

Be rational, even though you’re totally in love with your guy. And use these signs to find out if you’re actually being used instead of being loved.

7 signs he’s using you and not really in love with you

All of us can be selfish now and then. It’s not like we want to, but when we find someone gullible enough to fall for it, we instinctively use them or take them for granted.

Throughout our lives, we’ve used others or manipulated others to help us, be it our parents or our friends.

So if you’re in a relationship with a manipulative guy, you can’t blame him for using you. Instead, you need to blame yourself for being so gullible and falling for his trap perfectly.

There are many ways a guy would try to use you, but here are 7 most common reasons where a guy could pretend like he’s interested in you when in reality, he doesn’t even care half as much as you do.

#1 You’re his rebound. Are you dating a guy who’s just broken up with his girl? Or does your boyfriend spend a lot of time talking about his ex? If you’re dating a guy who’s still obsessed with his past, there’s a good chance that he’s still not over his ex and is using your intimacy only to stitch his heartbreak up.

If you’re thinking of dating a guy who’s overcoming a recent break-up, take things slow and find out if he genuinely loves you before you start dating him. A relationship that’s built over open wounds will lose its importance once the old wound heals.

#2 He wants you to be his arm candy. Some guys don’t really care who they’re dating as long as his friends think she’s attractive. You could be the dumbest or the snottiest person in the world, but he wouldn’t care as long as you cling on to him when he’s out with his friends.

Are you dating a guy who tries to hold you really close or indulges in public display of affection only when he’s in front of his friends? Does he ignore you or avoid cuddling you when both of you are at home? If a guy gets touchy feely in public or when his friends are around but avoids intimacy or romantic gestures when no one’s around, he’s probably only using you to show off in front of his friends.

Stop him when he tries to get physical in front of others and watch how he reacts. If it annoys him or if he tries to manipulate you into doing something in front of others, he’s definitely using you.

#3 To have sex with you. Sometimes, a guy may pretend like he’s fallen in love with you only to have sex with you. And once he gets to do that a few times, he’d start to lose interest in you or may start to take you for granted. Are you in a relationship where your guy’s lost interest in you ever since both of you had sex?

It sucks to be in a relationship like this, but you know what, there’s nothing you can do about it. If a guy you’re dating isn’t making an effort to keep love alive, he doesn’t deserve a great girl like you. End the relationship, learn from your mistakes and move on.

And always remember this. Don’t ever get pressurized into having sex very early into a new relationship. It kills the excitement. Wait at least a couple of months before you go to bed with any guy *unless you’re interested only in the sex too*. If he truly loves you, he can learn to stick around.

#4 To get back at his ex. This is more common than you can ever imagine. Many guys date a new girl immediately as soon as they break up only to annoy their ex. How can you tell if he’s using you and not really interested in you? Here are two clues. He would try to take you to places where his ex hangs out almost all the time. Or by some miraculous coincidence, both of you would constantly bump into his ex now and then and he’d be more than happy to bump into her. And at times, he may even hold you closer when his ex is around.

There are two things you need to know about this type of a guy. He would go to any end to hurt the people who upset him even if they’re upset already. And two, he doesn’t love you.

#5 Your connections. Are you a popular girl with a lot of friends? Or are you working somewhere influential and have a lot of powerful friends? You’d definitely be on the date list of many guys who could benefit from the people you know.

Are you dating a guy who prefers meeting you when your friends are around? Or does he love going to social gatherings with you? If he likes public dates more than a romantic twosome date, that’s something you need to think about, don’t you think? At the start of a new romantic relationship, all lovers want to do is lock themselves away from the rest of the world, not hobnob with each other’s friends!

Your guy may be using you only to advance his own career prospects or to become the new popular kid in town. Avoid these guys because they’ll squeeze you dry and walk all over you once they’ve got what they wanted.

#6 Sugar momma. If you’re a girl with a lot of money in the purse, you always need to be cautious about the kind of guys you date. Almost always, more than half the guys you date would be after your money than anything else.

Reading the signs of a guy who’s dating you only because you’re rich is never easy. Many guys pretend to behave chivalrously and never make it seem like they’re after you for the money until they’ve hooked you deeply. But if you find that you’re the one who’s doing more of the splurging on dates and gifts, it’s a good sign.

Stop buying him things or taking him out to expensive dinners for a couple of weeks or a month, and if his behavior changes, you’ll realize he’s into you only for the money.

#7 Easy pickings. Were you the one who asked the guy out? This is a common scenario that we see every now and then when a girl asks a guy out. When you ask a guy out or tell him that you like him, he may not really like you but he may accept to date you because he’s got nothing better to do every evening anyways. And by dating you, he gets to make out with you and go out with you all the time even if he doesn’t like you.

This is the kind of guy who blows hot and cold all the time. He may behave like a sweet guy at times, or completely ignore you at other times. To avoid this scenario from ever cropping up, avoid telling a guy your true feelings until you feel like it’ll be reciprocated by him.

Take your time before dating him, and get to know him better through a few casual dates. If he seems unenthusiastic now and then, he’s probably not as interested in you as he says he is and is just using you to pass the time.

It’s hard to truly find out if a guy’s really interested in you for the right reasons. After all, even the nicest guys may be seen using these signs now and then in their own small ways.

But your instincts will help you be the best judge when it comes to matters of the heart. So is he interested in you for the right reasons? You’ll be able to tell now, won’t you?

Dating Facts

Here are some interesting dating facts I would never think about 🙂

1. 9% of online daters are registered on 3 or more online dating sites.

2. The average time of courtship before marriage is much shorter when two people meet online than in person (online: 18 months, offline: 42 months).

3. About 10% of the population use online dating sites to find love.

4. In 2010 17% of married couples met online.

5. In the UK the volume of Google searches on mobile phones about dating grew by more than 200% year by year since 2008.

6. 36% of adults admit that they broke up with someone because of their looks – out of this: 31% of men and 12% of women dumped their partner because they were overweight.

7. There are about 3 million first dates every day in the whole world.

8. The 3 main reasons of breakups: 1: lost interest, 2: distance, 3: cheating.

9. 56% of all adults claim to have an unhappy sex life.

10. 5,4% of adult people die without ever getting married.